I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
