Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
