I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
