You smell like stripper and shame
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
