i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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