with your own penis?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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