New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
