You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
