Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
