just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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