I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
