Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
