i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
