If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
