He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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