from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my being single is dangerous.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
