he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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