i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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