The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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