Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
