Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
