also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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