WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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