Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
