my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
