Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
