i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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