He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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