maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
