Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
