Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
