Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
