FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
