So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
