So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
