We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
