HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
