sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
