Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
