1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Watching her eat just hurts me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
