I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
