i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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