Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
