They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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