She's JV to your varsity
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
