Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
