i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
