I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
