There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
