so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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