some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
