their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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