I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
