these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
