Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
